Winter Nuts

Before going for a run in the morning, I usually turn on the TV and go to the Weather Channel to find out what the temperature is outside. The colder it is, the more layers of clothing I put on to keep warm.  This morning, the temperature was -9°. Brrrr.  On days like today, when it is really cold out, I am always sure to wear a ski-mask to protect my face.  The ski-mask that I wear covers up everything on my face except for my eyes, so I can see where I’m running.  Sometimes, on really super frigid days, like today, my eyes will freeze shut when I blink.  When that happens, I have to take my hand out of my mitten, lick a finger, and wipe my eye to melt it back open.  Then I can see again.  After bundling up in several layers, I headed out the door looking eerily similar to Ralphie’s kid brother, Randy, from A Christmas Story.

The first five or so minutes of running, when it is super cold out, are usually the worst.  But then it gets better.  After a mile or two, I warm up and pretty soon, I start feeling quite comfortable.  

While running today, I passed three people who were not wearing anything on their hands.  No mittens!  No gloves!  Nothing!  Just bare hands.  These people consisted of a man walking his dog, a woman texting on her cellphone, and another fellow runner.  My own hands were a little cold and I was wearing my warmest mittens.  The guy who was walking his dog didn’t even have a hat on his head.  

I see these people all the time.  People who don’t wear mittens or gloves in the winter when it is freezing cold.  They just boggle my mind.  I’m not sure who is more crazy- these people who don’t wear gloves in the cold, or the runners who wear tights and sweatshirts in the 80+ degree temps of the summer.  For all I know, they’re the same people.

I ran down State Street and saw a couple homeless people wrapped up in sleeping bags.  They were just lying there, sleeping on the hard cold ground.  The heater in my house gave out a couple nights ago and the temperature dropped down to 48°.  I was up most of the night in bed shivering because I was so cold.  I can’t even imagine what it must be like to try to sleep when it’s 15 below.  A lot of the homeless people in Wisconsin must freeze to death in the winter.      

Another thing that really makes me scratch my head are all the drivers in Wisconsin who drive with their windows down in the winter. Yes, this is a common occurrence.  It’ll be well below freezing and I’ll see people zipping down the highway with their windows down.  Just last week, I was driving through a blizzard and some guy passed me, window down and the snow was blowing right into his car.  

There was a book I once read by Kurt Vonnegut called Breakfast of Champions.  One of the characters in the book, Dwayne Hoover, had the idea in his head that he was the only human being on the planet.  Everybody else on earth were programmed robots.  

Seeing all these crazy nuts who don’t wear gloves and who drive with the window down in the wintertime really supports Dwayne Hoover’s thesis.  I mean really, how could a sane human being, in his right mind, choose to freeze like this?